And the (projected) winner is ...

Chance are your name wasn't on the ballot. Which is probably a good thing, because then you'd be depressed about having lost an election. Thinking about contests, I started thinking about things I had won in my life. I thought I’d share this list with you, hoping that it will remind you of times when things in your own life have gone the way you wanted. Maybe it will make you laugh/smile/shoot milk out of your nose.

Things I’ve won, and the percentage* of effort they took:

Quart of chocolate milk: I won this in a drawing when I was about five and my sisters held a carnival for Muscular Dystrophy. Imagine a five year old with his own quart of chocolate milk! The milk mustache has faded but not the memory. 0%: No luck, but avoiding having to share with older siblings should bump this up to 100%

Little League trophies: I was on teams that finished 2nd and 3rd place, respectively. While the 3rd place finish was a bit disappointing, it was nice to have contributed to the teams’ efforts and success. The 2nd place trophy came after being on a team that finished 1-17. That’s 17 loses. 100%: I am including the broken nose I got from my first year because it’s my list and I’ll score the way I want to. If you don't like it I'll take my list and go home.

Television set: This is the gift that keeps on giving. At a company function, I won a television set. This was about two weeks after I’d already bought a new television. Luckily, I was able to exchange the tv set for a VCR. The VCR lasted for several years and when it finally broke, I sold the remote control on eBay for $50 -- enough to buy a new VCR. 50%: 0% for winning the tv. 100% for selling the barely- functioning remote control on eBay.

Associated Press award: OK, the category was a bit lame but it was an award that, the year prior, I said “next year I’m going to take home that award”. I was also pleased that my work contributed to another award for a program that my station contributed. I will admit jealousy over a former coworker’s Emmy. But if I’d won an Emmy I’d have to buy a mantel and some polish ... and it’s still kind of cool to say I worked with someone who won an Emmy. 100%: I had to do the research, writing and faxing to AP.

Diamond: From picking the right envelope in a radio station contest. 5%: I had to find the radio station van in the parking lot.

Album: I was the 16th caller. 100%: I had to dial the telephone at just the right speed, and then had to nag my parents to drive 40 miles (and back) to redeem the certificate I was sent in the mail. And I thought they would actually mail me the album!

Parking ticket: For exceeding the time limit in a restricted spot. I did some research and, not only did I win the case but the City changed the restrictions. Kind of cool to think others are getting a break from my work. 95%: 5% to the judge who found me not guilty, the City engineer who approved the work, and the staff from the public works department who had to assemble the sign, dig a hole, fill hole and lean on some shovels. I'd like to thank the Academy ...

$100 on the lottery. Twice: These came as part of group buys, so I only took home about $3.33 each time. Again, the team effort pays off. 10%: collecting the money AND going to the store at just the right time. 90%: pure luck

Small claims lawsuit: I’ll be brief, but my hard work, research and preparation paid off in both winning the suit and collecting. You may have already seen this on Law & Order. 99.9%: I'd like to give the defendant some credit.

* Some of the percentages seemed much harder than 100%, but I don’t want to do the whole “I gave it 110% percent” thing so many athletes do. Besides, O.J. kind of ruined statistics when he said he was “100% not guilty”.